(no subject)
Us wild ones.
noraneko_haka
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Sweet and sour
Us wild ones.
noraneko_haka
I can't wait for this summer for several reasons.

First of all, it is going to be a blast.

I have a full time job doing field research. My dream job. I'm so excited.

I got my first grant to finish up some research on a Hawaiian plant.

I got an Academic Achievement Award.

I feel very accomplished academically and I am so happy that I finally feel like I belong. Doing something I actually love and care about is so refreshing.

In other news... I am still so caught up on how lonely I am. I feel like everyone has someone except for me. All my friends do.

I know someday I will meet someone. That is not a new song for me to learn, but still... Its just kind of sad watching everyone with something I don't have.

Otherwise, I am happy where I am at right now.

cliffs
Us wild ones.
noraneko_haka
The dream started out with you and I standing on a sandy cliff. You wanted to play in the waves, but I told you they were too big. We walked to starbucks through a grass lawn covered in earth worms. So many got stuck in my flip flops. I was wearing my rainbows. You little and cute with your beanie on. You got an apple juice and a chocolate chip muffin. You kept playing tricks on the barista. That part of the dream ended. The little one was a younger Patrick.

Taz and I went to a conference to see who could live in a synthetic community. It was based on class and dress, kind of like the titanic. She wore a long blue satin dress and I under dressed and wore a black cotton one. We ended up in the middle class. We both had our own little cottages and had 80's hair. The guy who lived across from us looked like Johnny Depp and was always drunk.

I was walking around and realized that it was almost 5. It was also a Monday. I had forgotten that I had work. I began walking to find a phone to call there. I walked and walked and came across Miami Ink Tattoo. I wanted cherry blossoms, then I told her I liked Celtic stuff. I changed my mind and wanted a willow branch. The only place she would give it to me was on my calf or arm. I hate both places for tattoos and left angry. I kept walking. I ended up in McKinley Middle School looking for a phone with no luck. I left the building to keep walking.

Then, I woke up.

Here it goes
Us wild ones.
noraneko_haka
Well... I will have a full-time job this summer doing ecological field work. I am super excited. That made my day/week/month so much better. I can't wait for this summer.

I have realized based on my previous post and interactions with people that I really do have social anxiety issues. I think that is my main problem... constantly feeling awkward around people and such.

Well I'm sick of it and I'm going to work on just being myself around people. I don't have to be nervous about what I say or what people think because on the inside I am confident in myself. I know I'm smart, cool and whatever else, so I shouldn't be holding myself down and stressing myself out so much about how to act around people.

Now I just need to figure out where to start with that...

Nostalgia
Us wild ones.
noraneko_haka
I cant fall asleep right now. I keep thinking about high school and failed friendships. Hanging out at Miraz until the wee hours. Everything happens for a reason right? There are always those what ifs though. sigh...

(no subject)
Us wild ones.
noraneko_haka
If I ever saw her I would punch her.

This is making my heart hurt.

update
Us wild ones.
noraneko_haka
I cant wait to be done with school. This semester has sucked so much and I have no motivation left to further nourish it.

On the other hand, I am so glad it is actually starting to get warm. I love the smell of spring, or rather of warmth period. There really is a smell, I am not crazy. Hopefully someone gets what I am saying.

I miss living by a forest. I use to hate it, but now I miss hearing the frogs singing at night. It is too quite around here.

I cant fall asleep tonight. I need to start sleeping more. I hear sleep deprivation causes weight and that is a very touchy subject for me.

I am pretty confident with myself now though. About fucking time though, it only took about 10 years of my conscious life. Granted before the age of nine, I was oblivious to all the physical standards of society and therefore could not fall victim to them. Hopefully my confidence lasts this time and does not manage to slip away as before.

I do need to start eating better though. I dont want to eat at night anymore, or when I am not hungry. I want to cut fast food to about once a month or none at all. Im starting to work on these things, but its hard to change eating habits, at least for me.

At least it is warm now though, so I can get outside more. No more snow.

...
Us wild ones.
noraneko_haka
Man school is boring this semester.

You've changed so much, I dont even know what to do.

wow
Us wild ones.
noraneko_haka
I havent updated in a long time. I didnt realize that until right now. I guess life is okay. Its okay.

9-19-07
Us wild ones.
noraneko_haka
Last night my last rat died while I was at work. It was really sad because she was fine when I left for my dorm Tuesday morning. My called me that night to tell me that she had blood (porophyn sp?) around her eyes and nose. She apparently couldnt even walk at that point. She did have a large uterine tumor so im thinking it had something to do with that, but I didnt expect it to be so sudden. I wish I could have been there. I will miss you tahlulah. I will miss you both. Alteast you are both together now. They both died shortly after their third birthdays.









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